All right, I'll be the first one to admit:

I have a bit of a shopping problem.

And when I say "a bit", I mean a lot.

I tried denying it for a while. I tried justifying my purchases. ("I do have to buy these apricot t-strap heels. It's one of the building blocks of my closet system. It's an investment piece, really.") I tried saying that I'm buying super early Christmas gifts. I tried telling myself that a nuclear apocalypse was inevitable and that I had to get those polka dotted bow clips or I will never see them again.

But when I saw how my humble cabinet is practically groaning at how much crap I've shoved into it, well, I realized that an intervention must take place. And because I've been such an expert at evading my mom's skeptical looks about the new clothes I've been wearing (I tell her they're just from thrift stores and that I've had them for forever--lies), I don't think anyone else can help me on this but myself. I'd ask my friends, but they're just as hopeless as I am. Birds of the same feather and all.

The most inconvenient bit is that there is never the perfect time to realize that one has a shopping problem. Before December: Christmas season. After December: post-Christmas sales and my birthday. Summer: What the fuck else is there for you to do but go to the mall? School: How the hell else are you going to get through those miserable school days if you can't buy yourself a little something to get by?

So there. You see my problem. I CAN NEVER STOP. It's always gonna be there. Even when I've sworn off shopping, even when I am physically sickened at the idea of a store, I still find something to buy. I swear to god, I think I can sniff out something buyable in aTurkish prison. It's terrible. Absolutely terrible.

But getting rid of an addiction is never convenient, right? So like a coke whore, I'm gonna start very soon. I'm gonna think twice, thrice, ten bajillion times before I buy something. Just because I can afford it or it makes my butt look good, I won't buy it. (Oh god, the thought is giving me hives) I've been thinking of doing one entire month of no shopping, but you see, the problem with that is its sheer impossibility. HOW CAN YOU DO THAT? You just can't!

I know. I sound totally ridiculous, but that's how things are.

Ugh. What is the point of this entry? Basically just that I have major issues, and replacing self-actualization with retail consumption does nothing to help me mature as a human being. Carl Jung would be very, very disappointed. Sorry, Carl Jung.