I've never had the right to say that any year has been my year, because no year has ever really been my year. Or maybe I've just always been perpetually blessed that to say that one year was better than the others would be a lie.
But 2011? I don't know. I really think it was my year. Life didn't happen to me this year. I'd like to believe that I happened to life. And I happened pretty well, if I do say so myself.
First foremost, I'm very happy that while my family has had its share of drama and trials this year, everyone is safe and healthy. I did have that brief stint in rehab for my back, but that wasn't exactly a bad thing because I met that cute physical therapist who massaged my back and has magic hands. Mmm magical hands.
My friend situation wasn't so bad, too. I have always wanted my high school and college friends to meet and be friends, and I think I managed to do just that! We've hung out together and separately, and while we may not be able to see each other all the time, that's okay. This year has taught me that distance and time are just social constructs in relation to the strength of friendships.
(This year I also learned to use the term "social construct" to defend my poor choices. It makes me sound intelligent and idiotic at the same time. How very Marga.)
My academic life has been quite the telenovela, too. While I cried and ached over my shoddy Research Strategies grade, I lost sleep due to so many ridiculous requirements, and I literally vomited after studying for exams, it was all good in the end. My thesis got a solid 4.0, I breezed through Comparative Politics, and Amb. Del Rosario said that I would be "an asset to this country". That's exactly what a girl like me has always wanted to be, right? An ~asset~. Heh, I'm kidding. It was probably one of the most flattering things I've ever heard. Aside from that, I am about to become a published political scientist. I mean, wow. I'm kind of floored at the idea, but there you go.
Corollary to that, school has given be cause to travel! Aside from that bananas trip to Hong Kong with my wife Andrea, which has taught me that food is but a mere distraction in the quest for Good Bargains, and swimming with whale sharks in Sorsogon (!!!!! still freaking me out), I got to go to Indonesia for an environmental summit. And I went to Europe! I honestly didn't think this would happen to be at 20 years old. The best part, aside from the "I barely paid for anything aside from my ticket" and the opportunity to eat wonderful food is the fact that I got to meet people who are still my friends and still keep in touch. (Gosh, how terribly maudlin)
I'm also really glad that my writing kind of grew up this year. "Growing up" doesn't seem to be able to capture what I really mean, but you get the picture. I got published in the Star, and doing that profile on Ashley Gosiengfiao was nerve-wracking but utterly rewarding. I always get at least one comment about my columns in The Benildean, and I still don't get used to it. Aside from the compliments, I'm just happy that people read and learn something from the things I write. And as a journalist, that, I think, is what matters.
And onto more materialistic gratitude: I got a new laptop, I bought a phone by myself for the first time (okay, I'm cheating because one of the phones I traded in was something from my Globe plan...which my mother paid for), and a whole bunch of crap that I'm equally thankful to have.
Then, of course, there's you.
On a more philosophical note, I'm kind of overwhelmed by everything that's been going on lately. I know I complain and bitch a lot about why my life isn't wonderful or perfect or blah blah. I'm probably gonna complain a lot more in the future, if not just as much. But I don't think it means that I feel totally hopeless about it. I've learned a lot of things about myself; I've grown up. I've realized that I'm not as brave as I thought I was, not as tough nor as resilient. At the same time, I've become more independent and more assertive about certain aspects of my life. I've schooled myself into withstanding more pain and pressure, something I've never imagined I'd be capable of. There are still parts of me that I don't like, parts that I glorify, and parts I don't really care for.
This year, I've molded my political leanings, realizing what matters to me and what does not. I'm still not a feminist, I'm still a capitalist, I'm still a conservative. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've been struggling with my beliefs for so long that knowing what I stand for and what I do not is such a relief. I guess the same goes for my faith. I know what I believe in, and as inconvenient it may be for people who have a sturdy set of values that is deeply rooted in traditional religious orientations, I honestly don't give a fuck. Believe what you want to believe in, and I will believe in what I want to believe in. It's all about love and acceptance, people.
I really had a wonderful year. It was such a perfect end note to the end of my childhood, me turning 21 and all. (Blech) I suppose the only way 2012 can top this year is if I get a boyfriend. Haha, I'm kidding. Kind of.
