The pursuit of happiness

I was commissioned to do a short profile on musician/cosplayer Ashley Gosiengfiao, which is featured on this week's issue of Young Star. Check it out here.

It was a little daunting to write at first, because I tend to develop this irrational (?) anxiety whenever I write about people who I know will read my work. Do you ever get that? I think it's the reason why I can't seem to finish any attempt at writing a novel, something that I have been trying to do for about three years now. I write from what I know, from the people around me, and I don't like knowing that I've assassinated their characters by writing them from a horrible perspective.

I know, I know. Nobody's perfect. But who wants their glaring flaws to be published on paper?

Anyway, imagine my surprise when Ashley actually tweeted me this morning, saying that she loved it. And her Tumblr page attests to that. Basically, she said that she's really glad that someone wrote about her in a way that not a lot of people do or have. Whatever. I'm just really happy that not only did I write what I know, I wrote from a fresh perspective without being offensive or tactless.

She really is a badass, though. That much I could tell.

So many good things happening to me lately, despite my consistent fuck ups. (Oh, the irony.) Last Monday, I had lamenting via Twitter that most of the offices I called for potential internships--something that is required for students in my program--weren't accepting interns. And these were legit places that I actually wanted to go to. So I was left destitute; it had me worrying about what would happen to me next term.

Now, however, I have three offices asking me if I could intern for them. It is incredible how awesome the universe can be. My problem now is that one of them has been asking if I can start ASAP, which won't be possible because the hours I would be putting in will not be credited to the 500-hour requirement (300 for me, because I attended a conference abroad). This office in particular is kind of set on getting me already, and my spineless idiotic self didn't let them know that I was still on the fence about the matter. The lady who interviewed me didn't even ask me any questions! She basically told me what the work would entail and oh, was I available to work for her that very day?

I dunno. It seems a little sketchy, though. While it's nice to feel like someone needs your incredible talent (not), I left the interview feeling like she didn't really want me, she just needed someone to be her patsy. How do I say no, though? Not so easily. It's hard because one of my previous professors recommended me for the job. And I don't want to turn it down just because I feel like it won't live up to my ~potential~. Is there a way to say that without sounding like a complete douchebag?

So here I am, caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. Whatever that means.